When I know God's heart about something, I don't need to beg God to do it. No "please, if it be your will" kind of prayers. No long prayers trying to convince God to do what He already WANTS to do!
Instead, I put my heart where His heart is. I agree with what's in His heart. I can declare His heart into my life and the lives of others.
I know that God's heart is for people to be healed and whole. He wants human beings to be sane and healthy and in their right minds.
So, D. is a woman coming to BJM who could not be described as either sane or in her right mind. We've found her rambling and wandering in the neighborhood. On a good day, she would sing random songs from the 70s or old rock and roll tunes. She carried a prayer card with a late 19th century picture of a nun on it and insisted it was a photo of me. She obsessed about priests and worried about being kidnapped. One bad day, I found her huddled on the sidewalk, using a bit of metal to reflect sunlight toward passing cars. She pulled me down beside her. "Stay here," she warned. "So you're safe. I don't want them to see us. They'll hurt you and put things inside of you."
The BJM staff have been praying for D. Lately, we talked about the time Jesus healed a man who suffered from severe mental torment and was so violent that he was kept chained. Jesus commanded the evil spirits tormenting his mind and spirit to leave. he healed the man's mental illness. Then, we're given a short, hope-infused description of the man: when Jesus returned, he was "clothed and in his right mind."
We know that mental illness is never the heart or will of God. God doesn't "give" people mental illness. No . You may have heard some people say that God wills bad things to happen so that we'll get closer to him or so He can do some "great thing" through our suffering.
Not true. God is absolutely good. he doesn't give us mental illness or cancer or alcoholism because he is Good. Only Good. He doesn't have evil to give. Only good. So, we know that God's heart is for D. to be whole and at peace. It is not for D to live with mental illness, fear, and emotional torment. NO.
We began to declare this into D's mind and heart. Over her life. "You are beloved of Jesus. We will see you clothed and in your right mind." Over and over. When we saw her on the street. At Nail Day. When we prayed for her in the women's center. Sometimes, when she was incoherent, I would speak these words aloud as she rambled.
We didn't stop with D....but have been declaring God's heart over many women who live with mental illness and who are tormented by past trauma, emotional pain, and the work of evil in their lives.
So, two weeks ago, D.showed up at nail day. She was dressed neatly and talked more lucidly than we have ever seen. By the end of that week, she was dressed nicely every day. She reported to us that she had been approved for Social Security Disability income and had finally FINALLY been approved and moved into an SRO (Single Resident/room occupancy apartment) here in the Tenderloin. This means she's no longer sleeping on the streets (Hallelujah!!!)
This week, she met us in the neighborhood with hugs and clear eyes. She informed me with a laugh that "my picture of the nun...I know it isn't you...but her smile reminds me of you so I keep it."
Then, she knocked on the door of the women's center. We invited her in. D walked into the dance studio, slipped off her shoes, faced the mirrors and placed her hand on the barre. She lifted her chin and gracefully moved her hands and feet through the basic positions of ballet. First, Second, Third, Fourth, fifth. She laughed and talked about the famous dancer, Barishnikov fleeing Russia and seeking asylum in the U.S. She laughed and told stories about her childhood dance teacher. She rambled a bit and was sometimes disconnected in her thinking, but for the most part, she was lucid and humorous and joyful. And we were amazed.
here she stood before us - clothed and in her right mind.
How did this happen? We don't know. God has done what we asked. What we believed was in his heart for D. What we declared over her for days and weeks.
Did God start a process of healing her mind? Did our stand against the tormenting spirits begin to break the hold they have had on her for so long? Did the stress-relieving miracle of having a safe place to live give D enough emotional energy to remember to take medication every day? Again, we don't know. What we do know is, we have been believing and partnering with God for healing of broken minds and wounded spirits. We have been staring mental illness in the eye and demanding "let them go." We have been asking Father God for miracles and declaring them over and into people's lives.
And in walks D. Clothed and in her right mind. Making jokes. Smiling. Lucid.
And we are amazed. I can only say, "Thank you, Father God. Loving Dad. Thank you."
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