Thinking today about Domestic Violence in faith communities - because I got to give a presentation about how shelters and DV advocates can help women use their own faith to recover and heal from Domestic Violence.
Studies consistently show that women of faith are more likely to recover and heal emotionally and in life from the wounds of domestic violence and abuse IF their faith is part of that recovery and healing.
These Advocates-in-Training were an interesting group: an ex-Catholic priest from Brazil; a young Muslim woman, ex-church members disillusioned by the behavior and anti-everything spirit they see among Christians; a number of cultural and "holiday only " Jews.
One women - who looked about 18 but must have been in her mid-late 20s, said she used to work for a national Abortion Advocacy group. She said, "We hated the 'God calls" from women who felt guilty about their choice." she then said, "Every woman. EVERY woman who callecd our hotline was in poverty, afraid, and alone. They all were afraid they couldn't raise a child. I remember one woman with 2 little kids...pregnant again. One of those husbands who wasn't out of work...he just didn't work....ever. She was Catholic and was afraid she'd go to hell."
The woman described her conversation with this caller. She said, "My job wasn't to talk her into anything. So I just asked her questions like, 'did she believe God loved her? Did she believe God was forgiving?"
As she's speaking, I hear her compassion for the women at the other end of her crisis line phone. And, my heart is sinking because I realize she was "helping" these women justify taking the life of their unborn child. And, I knew the emotional and spiritual cost that decision would - sooner or later - exact from their hearts. whether through hardness and dissociation or PTSD and tearing regret that would feel like a wound beyond healing.
Then, the young woman said, "I wouldn't have described myself as a person of faith then. but now I do. What I discovered was, the women who believed. You know, the God calls....they may have been poor and afraid, but they weren't alone. They had God."
What a Jesus moment. I thought, in a flash, of the woman caught in adultery. And, how, historically, many Christians have been offended that He didn't confront her with her sin and that scripture never records her "confessing and asking forgiveness." Instead, Jesus extended grace and kindness. Before he said anything else, he said, "I don't condemn you." And this, to a woman condemned by everybody. After all, she was an adultress (at least) and quite probably in the sex trade - selling her body for money.
Yet, Jesus SAW her. Loved her. Refused to condemn her. Even when he said, "Go, and sin no more," we have no record of her "making it right." Interesting. Breaks all the rules! Aren't we supposed to see our sin, confess, and THEN we are forgiven? isn't that how it works?
Yet, here is the young woman - not saying, "I found Jesus" or "Now I'm a Christian and I'm pro-life."
Instead, she honestly said - in front of a room of her hip. "not religious" peers - that the "God people" had changed her. Their faith - seen in the midst of panic and shame and a decision whether to give in to fear and "solve" a problem by having an abortion - had actually changed HER.
Here she was - making eye contact for SO long with me as I talked about faith as a "defining moment of identity" for many people. And shared my own story as an example.
You see, I found Jesus through the story of that woman "caught in the act" and the men with their stones of judgement and death. And Jesus. Kneeling there in front of her. Putting Himself between her and the stone-throwers. Doodling in the sand with his finger.
"I didn't know anything about the Old Testament or new Testament or theology," I said. "I only knew that Jesus was SO smart. How did He know to tell the guys with the stones 'let the one among you who has never sinned throw the first stone'?....
All I knew was I liked this Jesus. And, I wanted to be loved like Jesus loved that woman."
The young Advocate-in-Training sat across the table from me. Her eyes looking into mine.
I wondered what Jesus was doing. Right at that moment. In her heart?
How was he showing himself to her? Calling her closer?
I realized, on the long walk home, that God is never too proud to meet us wherever we are. On the Abortion Advocates hotline. On the street, caught in the act of whatever we're doing that we should be. In the privacy of our minds where we harbor doubt and give in to fear.
He meets us there. And doesn't condemn us. And draws us close.
And we are changed. And I thought, "THIS is what real evangelism looks like."
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