Trauma is the Big, Bad Monster Under Everybody's Bed....

 This is an article I wrote for the Because Justice Matters newsletter.
With everything that has been in the news this week - bombs, suicide, another young, unarmed, Black man shot by police, refugee children still in limbo at our borders, ISIS and Boka Haram murdering in Iraq and Nigeria...and a young, gay man who called himself Feather was beaten to death right here in the Castro neighborhood of San Francisco.

I thought this might be important to say:

Trauma surrounds us. We experience it in our own lives and it attacks us vicariously through the news, our own friends and family, and daily life on the streets here in the Tenderloin.

Trauma is an attack on a woman’s soul and spirit that says you are never wanted. Never safe. Never loved. Be afraid. Trust no one.
Trauma says, "You don’t belong anywhere".

Trauma is an experience where a person’s life or well-being is threatened. They feel unsafe and powerless to find safety and live in constant fear. On an emotional level, they have been unprotected and abandoned. Their spirits are crushed when no one helps or cares.

A few months ago, the BJM team found a woman wearing only a camisole walking on Ellis Street. She didn’t know where her clothing was or whether she had been assaulted.  We were able to connect with San Francisco’s Homeless Outreach Team to at least get clothing for her.  But, clothing didn’t begin to touch her deep hole of unmet needs.

This fragile woman lives with both mental illness and addiction. One day she came to The Well. As we come to know tiny threads of her story, we see that trauma has shaped her life and left her shattered and hurt.

Daisy was raised by violent, abusive parents who forced their very young children to memorize Bible verses and fast for days on end. Her parents said Jesus demanded obedience.  She remembers beatings and stealing bread for herself and her siblings. Bruises and unhealed wounds went unnoticed by neighbors.  Teachers later said they “thought something was off” but did nothing.. Today, Daisy’s trauma lies close to the surface of her mind and emotions. A reminder of abuse can lead to explosive, pain-filled anger. Recently, she came to Nail Day in fragile, emotionally distraught condition. She cried and trembled saying, “I want to die. I can’t live with this pain one more day.”
Among the greatest challenges to Because Justice Matters ministry is responding to traumatized women and the thinking, choices, and behaviors resulting from trauma.
The most powerful tool we have to heal and restore traumatized hearts is the Presence and love of Jesus. As women experience the kindness and acceptance of our Father God, they feel less alone and afraid.
As women experience the absolute, loving acceptance of Jesus, lies of rejection and shame lose their power.
God’s Presence becomes real in relationship with us and with Father God. Healing will happen when we are willing to represent and re-present love and acceptance in our relationships with women in the Tenderloin.
Recently, BJM staff attended a healing conference where a speaker commented, “Sometimes, people must belong before they believe.”
We create places where women can belong. Where they can tell their stories and be believed and accepted. Where they can be free to express emotion and explore feelings and thoughts.
We know Jesus can heal the wounds and lies left by trauma in the lives and hearts of the Tenderloin women. The safe, always-present love of our Father God can replace the fear and trembling of trauma with rest and peace.
We have God’s tools to heal trauma. Belonging. Relationship. Love. Acceptance. Jesus Himself. And, when love replaces fear: Believing.
These tools have become central to everything we do at Because Justice Matters. Nail Day is about acceptance. A woman may not have showered for days or weeks. She may be shaky and thinking about her next fix. She may sell her body or drugs on the street. But, she is welcome. Accepted and loved.
In our groups – Bible Study, Community Group where we’re learning to hear God’s voice, or our healing art group, Art for the Heart, relationship is a focus. We extend an offer of relationship to every woman who comes. And, relationships of friendship and trust form between the women. Belonging.
Trauma is an attack on a woman’s soul and spirit that says you are never wanted. Never safe. Never loved. Be afraid. Trust no one.
Trauma says, You don’t belong anywhere.
At Because Justice Matters, relationship, love and acceptance say: You belong here! We want you. Jesus wants you.