STUFF!

now, it's about stuff.  Lots and lots of stuff.  Stuff I need and stuff I don't.  Stuff somebody else can use and stuff nobody wants - not even me!

I thought I'd pared things down when I moved to my apartment in 2011. Last Friday the POD people rumbled up to the parking lot of a consignment furniture store here in Madison. My friends helping me drag stuff to the shop, to their  various trucks, van and cars.  Some sold, some given and some kept.  Now, I have a boxes and boxes in another friend's garage.  Making sub-piles....give to somebody special, donate, mail, and "will it fit in the Camry?"  I mailed 13 boxes of books (THIRTEEN???? what do I think I am, the public library?)  Another 3 donated and all my old books and materials from my "past life" as a storyteller are now happily living at a couple of area schools.

All this is rearranging my head significantly.  Can I feel sad about the lovely home I created in my first-ever living alone apartment AND feel free and happy to see things falling away?  I sit for long minutes thinking "Can I fit these coffee mugs in the car?"  and "Do I really need 15 coffee mugs?"  Which to leave behind?  Which sweet memories to take?  (Whoops....16 mugs...a new friend just gave me one of her hand-thrown beauties so I'd remember her and her big heart while I'm in SF).

It is like dividing up pieces of my life. Christmas decorations from years of celebration with my family.  Pots and pans used to cook meals for friends I love.  Dishes I picked myself and the wealth of mugs....all memories of hours and hours of laughter and talk with be-loved people  My good old college graduation present to myself guitar invites me to worship and sing.  Worship flags made specially for the women's center by loving hands here... Two Norwegian ski sweaters - one knit by my mom and another by my host mother in Norway. Both mothers gone now.  Yes, I will keep the sweaters though I may never wear them. 

Some things go so easily. Other things cling to my heart. My memory.  I will probably try to take too many things to San Francisco. I have a single room and a shelf or two of storage space at Becky and Alex's in Pacifica.  I don't need the 16 mugs. Or the  hand-blown glass globe I bought at Madison's Art Fair on the Square one summer.  But I will keep them.  Perhaps they are waiting for another time. Another "letting go" to find other homes.  Or, they will make this journey with me.