This week
been thinking about FAIR because two women much beloved by BJM had incredible,
unexpected good news. They both
got HOUSING!
S. was
eligible as part of an Obama administration effort to house homeless vets and
former foster children under age 24.
A case worker helped her apply. She’s a former runaway with a severe,
congenital disability. She’s been on the streets for the past 2+ years while
(drum roll here) attending City College of San Francisco!
On
Wednesday, S. moved into a small apartment right across the street from her
SCHOOL! (I’m about to go all-out and just type a whole line of exclamation
points). Amazing. Impossible!
Plus, she won’t be in the Tenderloin anymore!!!!!
Whew…that was exhausting.
Then, my
beloved kid “K” told me she was going to get “a place.” Frankly, I thought it was wishful
thinking or confusion or even a scam.
K has been offered housing before with a not-uncommon “catch” of sex as
payment. So, I wanted to see the
place. Meet the director. Check the whole thing out.
Whoa! It was
legit. And, she had suddenly – for no reason – moved to the top of the waiting
list.
The studio
apartment, in the Tenderloin, is located in an old but well-kept hotel.
Beautiful murals in the entry were probably WPA artist-grant projects in the
1930s. The apartment is small but clean. Wood floors, a private bath and tiny
kitchen area.
The most
amazing part of this is that K received this apartment without the usual 2+
year wait or the sometimes=even-longer Lottery system! She applied and was told “YES”….We
spent last Friday discovering just how much stuff I can tie to the roof rack of
my car. Picking up furniture,
kitchenware, a bookshelf listed “free” on Craigslist. I went to Goodwill and bought a comfy chair, small shelving
unit and a stool so she can sit at the counter and eat. 2 plates, 2 bowls, 2 sets of silverware
and mugs…. A lovely San Franciscan
moving to Sweden for a new job gifted K with bedding and pillows.
I felt such
joy. And such inner conflict.
Because
another friend, C, has been waiting for more than 2 years for housing. C has done it all “by the
book”….Filling out forms, Re-filling out forms when they were lost or expired
or who-knows-what bureaucratic stupidity.
Walking from office to office.
Walking with a walker because C. was injured in a serious fall years
ago…the injury was so severe that she couldn’t work….lost her job….and with it,
her health insurance…..because ObamaCare didn’t exist then, her medical bills
thrust her into bankruptcy…Lost her home and ended up on the streets (this is
an all-too-common story here in the Tenderloin)
Today, C.
needs hip replacement surgery related to that injury that led to
homelessness…and now, CAN’T have the surgery until she has a place to
live. (WHAT? Yep…she can’t have surgery and be
released to the streets….and is still on the streets unable to work because she
needs the surgery)
So, C does
everything the system asks. Dots her I’s and everything else in sight….and K
gets an apartment in a few weeks.
I am so grateful
that K is no longer on the streets. SO hopeful that having stable housing will
be the key that opens the door to healing of trauma, recovery of identity, and
a new vision for life that includes good things like work and stable
relationships. This is so GOOD.
AND, another
part of my mind is screaming; “IT’S NOT FAIR!” C should have a place to
live! C should have gotten housing
first.
I talked to
Father about it. Here are some thoughts from that conversation:
*the
world lives with a mindset of scarcity and Law
*
The world acts based on the belief that there isn’t enough, and we need to work
hard because we get what we deserve
*
God doesn’t give us what we deserve. It’s called Grace…
·
Grace isn’t fair
o God
isn’t fair…and it’s not just about getting into heaven “free of charge” without
having to earn any status as His Children
o God
loves K and loves C. And, what
happened isn’t fair.
o But
God IS good.
God is good.
I don’t believe for one moment that we should nod sagely and mumble, “It’s
God’s will that Carmen is homeless…He will be glorified through it…just wait…”
I reject the
lie that God “wills” pain and evil to happen so that He can accomplish some
bigger plan. Or, that He
arbitrarily dispenses good things to some and leaves others in the lurch…
I feel so
happy and so sad. I can’t fix the system that left C homeless, broke, and
sick after a lifetime of hard work and responsibility. I can’t fix the system that ignored K –
a 10 year-old runaway from a sexually abusive home…and failed to protect her at
almost every level.
It isn’t
helpful for me to ask “why” K got housing and C - whose immediate need is more critical – is still
homeless. I suppose any answer to
“why” is too massive…touching on greed, sin, economic power, corruption and
human failure to care.
I’m left
with the freeing, hopeful good news that God isn’t fair. We don’t need to fear
because He isn’t keeping score.
But God is good. Absolutely good.
And that Truth is hope.
