Meeting the Bouncer at the New Century Strip Club

Five years ago I visited Because Justice Matters because I’d read they were making relationships with girls and women in area strip clubs. I learned that ministry had just closed due to staff transitions.  The next summer I volunteered for 2 weeks.  Jen, the woman who had pioneered the strip club ministry spoke with me at length. “We started by getting to know the bouncers,” she said. “Earning trust. Building relationships.” By the time they had to close the ministry, Jen was the only staff involved. And, she had invested countless hours getting to know women in more than one North Beach club. It was hard for everyone.

I returned to Wisconsin and started building a private counseling practice. BJM stayed in my mind. I found myself thinking about women I’d met. I felt the need in the Tenderloin like an itch. It wouldn’t go away.

So, that summer I applied to be an intern. Maybe 3 months in San Francisco would stop the itch.  Of course, many of you know what happened.  I decided to do what my heart wanted. Moved to SF and joined BJM staff. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Ever.

Now, nearly 2 years later, that same heart is still drawn to the strip clubs and the women and girls working there. I told God….”Let me restart the work in the strip clubs and with women in street prostitution.  I want healing and souls.”

SO…last fall, God and I had a back-and-forth. It went like this:
            * me: Strip clubs, prostitution, street outreach
            * Him: pastoral care
            * me: Strip clubs, prostitution, street outreach
            * Him: pastoral care

Repeat….a couple more times. Same response. Okay…..

Now, belonging to Jesus for 45 years (whoa, now THAT makes me feel old!) has taught me a number of things. One is that God is better at anything than I am. He knows what he’s doing. He’s God. I’m not. The smart money is on Him.

So I paused to remember the women God has beamed into my life. One newish Jesus-follower I meet with every week. Another beautiful one who comes to church.  BJM friends.  A dealer on Ellis with whom I’m slowly building trust. My beloved K who has grown so much – and has so far to go still.

Pastoral care.  Caring for and about the women God has already sent my way.

Long ago I determined to refuse to say No when God asks. I decided that, regardless of the question, my answer would always be Yes – or as close to Yes as I can figure out.

Embracing “pastoral care” felt deflating. I pouted and whined a little inside before my “yes”  After all, there was that “smart money” thing.

Since fall, pastoral care has been my focus. Many good times of healing prayer. One-on-one meetings where people can share and explore and find insight. God shows up. Hurting places are touched and healed. Hurting hearts stop hurting.

The past 7 months have been time well spent. I’m not pouting anymore – though I whine on occasion. The “strip clubs, prostitution, street outreach” dream has been safely stuffed under the bed.

SO, two weeks ago I was scheduled to help with YWAM’s Friday hot chocolate outreach. Visiting “urban ministry experience” teams from anywhere and everywhere come to YWAM for a day, a weekend or a full week at a time. On Fridays, these teams fill thermoses with hot cocoa and head to the streets.

On a chilly night – and nearly every night in SF qualifies….don’t let the 70-degrees-and-sunny reports fool you into coming without a hoodie and long pants even in July.  Sweatshirt vendors make a killing every summer selling cheap sweats to freezing tourists who think all of California is San Diego…and dress accordingly.

Sorry for the distraction….

So I joined others from a visiting team to give away hot cocoa and prayer.  Two lanky, just-out-of-college type boys from suburban Marin and I headed toward the New Century strip club – a neighborhood establishment about 5 blocks away.

We arrived at the club about 8 – far too early for the “let’s go to a strip club” groups of young men or the “conference in SF” professionals having a night on the town to do something stupid.

Outside, a husky Latino man stood. His navy suit and name badge identified him as “Jason,” club security. We offered him cocoa.

“What are you doing?”

We explained about YWAM and hot cocoa night.

“Interesting,” he said. “I bet homeless people appreciate the cocoa.”

We asked a bit about his job. Long nights, he said. The pay was okay, but the work was hard. Lots of drunk guys and wild bachelor parties.

“Could we pray for you for anything?” we asked.

The man was silent for a long moment. Then, words began to tumble from him…about his son diagnosed with autism. His long hoped-for career as a musician. His wife needing help.

“My son needs me more,” he said. “he needs more time…..I need to let go of my music. Because of my son.”

He seemed to choke up.  “I love my music, but I love my son more.”

We began to pray for him.

I blessed his father’s heart. Told him that “Father God feels the same about you as you feel about your son.”  I said God gave up something precious to him, too, because we needed him.

“God sent Jesus to us because we needed to know Him,” I said. “Now, because you have a heart like God’s heart, you are giving up your music because your son needs you.”

We prayed for his music. For his marriage. For his son.  Asked God to return his music when the time was right. To let his music be part of his son’s healing. It was a blast.

At the end, we hugged. The two boys from Marin stood on the sidewalk, grinning like Halloween pumpkins. It was GOOD.

As we walked away, it hit me.  Jason’s name badge read “security.”

The first step in strip club ministry, Jen had told me 2 years ago, was to meet the bouncer. I began to laugh.

I had just met the bouncer at the New Century strip club! Without a plan or even an awareness. God set me up to meet the bouncer. Not just for Jason, but for ME too. Because it would show me that, after 7 months, God remembered.  Of course!

And, it was so GOOD.