Wednesday, September 25, 2013

good bye is a hard word to say!

Having many one-on-one times over coffee, cupcakes, lunch, brunch and whatever else women think to do.  Saying good-bye over and over to people I love. Friends. Colleagues. Clients. People who have come to "live" in every room in my relational house.   

Grateful for friends. For the privilege of knowing so many women who should have books written about them.  Last night, got to introduce two friends to each other - one, a gifted "D/C" on the DISC inventory. Successful executive. bringer-of-order-into-chaos.  The other, an S/I on the same inventory is a bringer-of-life-and-joy into every situation. Like one of those folks who carries the Olympic torch from city to city, she carries HOPE and worship wherever she goes.  Both women are single moms. Both raising beautiful, smart, creative children alone.  Both are witnesses to me of the power of finding and being who you are.  Of walking away from abuse into LIFE. 

This was just the end of a single day of being amazed by the women I know. Talking with my friend-and-sister MaryBeth about an ever-expanding vision for using art to help people heal. Hearing my friend Donna talk about the book she's researching, writing, and illustrating. My beloved Lorita as she loves and enjoys two grandchildren who have autism challenges every single day!  Then, updates from one friend who is creating a stunningly beautiful wedding venue out of her parents' old barn  and another who is integrating healing prayer and "brain spotting" to help trauma survivors recover and replace painful memories with JOY.

Finally, hearing from the Because Justice Matters roaring lions (yep, they might look like beautiful, young, vibrant women....but really they are roaring lions in disguise)....that they sold 100 tickets to the women's center/BJM October 4th fundraiser in a single afternoon!

I want to rent a billboard that says "Hey, sisters.  Take a LOOK at your friends. Just bask in the wonder of the women on your smart phone speed dial! Tell them how wonderful they are. How they have blessed and loved and helped to shape your heart and vision. Say thank you.  Say "I love you!" 

and to quote one of my favorite fictional characters, Chet-the-Jet, hero and point of view character of the not-exactly-cerebral but make-me-laugh Chet and Bernie mysteries...."Just when you think [your friend] can't be more amazing, [they] amaze you again!"

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Some people have asked how I feel about selling my furniture and moving to a single room in San Francisco.  God is doing stuff, ya'll.  The journey continues...

My friend Jen from YWAM San Francisco (and, in the past, a YWAM-er in Madison) said, "When you decide to do something you believe God wants but seems too big or too hard or....then you get to see God do miracles."
And, the wise and much beloved Bill Johnson (ibethel.org in case you are a newcomer to this amazing man and Bethel Church in Redding, CA) said, (in the words I sort of remember), "If you do what you can do, then you get what a human being can do.  But, if you set your sights on the impossible, then you get what God can do."

This week wasn't impossible, but it sure has been sweet and filled with what God can do.

I'm going to return to the YWAM base in San Francisco. My personal living quarters there is a room with a small bath and kitchenette.  Years ago, this building housed an SRO (single room occupancy) hotel for poor folks. Now, it houses YWAMers of all ages.  Those YWAMers have sacrificed space (they all share rooms) so I can have my own room.  I don't take that for granted!

Some people might look at the YWAM base as kind of dumpy.  I think of it as "simple...well, maybe dumpy... and filled with amazing people and God."  And, I don't ever want to forget that, outside that door, people sleep on concrete and under bridges and in cardboard boxes.

And, I know that I feel more peaceful and healthy when I'm in quiet, physically "nurturing" surroundings. Order. Peace. Beauty. All are important to me.  So, where's the balance?

This is a particularly important question as I sell the furniture I bought to furnish my apartment. The first place I ever decorated (from scratch) for me. To meet my needs and create a safe, beautiful, nurturing environment.  Now, storing the stuff makes no financial sense. I can take a few things, ship some, store a few precious items like my mom's china or a piece of art at a friend's home...but the rest must go.  (any Madison-area peeps looking for some good quality, not-garage sale furniture? let me know)

So, what does stuff mean?  What should be sold and the money used to do great stuff (like buy better hearing aids or get furniture in SF) ?  What should I joyfully give away (so...if your unemployed friend needs a bed and you have one...what's the question here?).  Thinking.   Remembering Heidi Baker touching her head and saying "Smaller...."  Then her heart and saying, "Bigger..."   Smaller....bigger....smaller...bigger....

So, back to SF and the great moving adventure:
The carpeting in my room there is pretty bad (read: awful, moldy, weird and made my allergies stand up and scream).  I knew it wasn't good for my health to be in the space. I also knew that YWAM had no money for upgrading the building (which they rent), so I asked the YWAM "management team" if I could pay to pull up the carpeting and replace it with laminate.  "Sure."  Great!  I was happy...

Just as I left, the BJM director said she'd received an email from someone with extra wood flooring who wanted to know if they could donate it to the women's center.  She hadn't replied yet - but had planned to say the flooring was already installed there and their kind offer wasn't needed.  She said...who knows....maybe they'll donate it to YWAM specifically for your room!

Who knows?  I didn't... because I returned to Madison the next day and haven't thought a lot about the whole thing.

But this past week I was looking at my budget.  like "Okay, new hearing aids..$$$$, road trip costs $$...car insurance $...chiropractor for whatever I did to my shoulder and jaw $$....now...how much will the floor thing cost in SF?"   

I wrote the BJM director, Ruthie, to ask whether that lovely person really did donate the flooring. And here's her reply, "Don't worry. Your flooring is being taken care of by us. You'll return to nice, new wood floors!"

Whoa!  It's already done?!!!  I don't have to do it?  I was speechless.  Then I laughed!

I feel loved and cared for!  Honored and loved by the YWAM community there.  I don't know who actually did the gross job of pulling up the moldy, dusty carpeting.  I don't know who washed the  years of filtered dust, mold and "stuff" from the sub flooring, hauled the wood upstairs, and did the labor of installing the floor.  I'm imagining those wild, beautiful, Jesus-loving, visionary "kids" (as in I'm old enough to be the mom of about 90% of the YWAM San Francisco staff).  What I don't have to imagine is the love.

The last thing I'm imagining is walking into that room, over and over and over. Seeing the lovely, clean wood floors...my beautiful small area rug with the deep, cobalt blue that matches the prophetic painting my friend Mary Ann did for me  (gotta fit those two things in my car!) and a couple of comfy small "sit and talk" chairs.  A little coffee table (cause you need coffee to talk, of course) and some of my beautiful art hanging and making things beautiful.  I imagine thinking, "They did the floors just for me!  Wow!  God, you are so good....I feel so loved and taken care of."




Friday, September 13, 2013

4 more weeks...SF is calling!

In  just 4 more weeks I will load my stylin' 1999 Toyota and head for San Francisco!   My weeks in Madison have been a beautiful window into love, friendship, kindness, and the gift of years spent in one place, investing heart and energy into relationships.

I will miss my friends and be-loveds in Madison.  I will miss this oddball, compassionate, often silly, regularly offended city where justice and knowledge are valued treasures.  The Saturday farmer's market. Concerts on the capitol square every week during the summer. Walks along the lakes. Hanging out on the UW Madison Terrace. This is a good place for kids to grow up. They learn to value diversity and to care about people who live "without".   It's a great place to be a grown up...because you meet people who, somewhere along the line, learned those things, too.

I've planned 4 days in New York, seeing my shining star Ruthie and her Michael. Get to hear Ruth sing in a revue. Get to hang out with Michael before he leaves for a l-o-n-g contract with the 25th anniversary tour of Phantom of the Opera.  Good food. Tickets to something grand in whatever theatre they pick.  Fun. Love. Just being with my best beloveds.

Then, back to Madison. 

I'm selling my furniture (if you're interested, let me know....it's good quality, soft contemporary.  What I don't sell to friends will go to Another Home (consignment shop in Middleton) where they take a big chunk for their efforts.

Then, stuffing the car full of whatever...mailing some books ahead...looking this weekend at a used roof rack so I can install a basket and take a few more things. 

A one-woman cross-country road trip sounds like an adventure on paper, but ask me about mid-Nebraska....I ought to be in a dissociative fugue by then.  Plan to arrive in SF about 8-10 days later, ready to launch this next year. Ready to grow and learn every day. Ready to learn more about love than I can imagine!  What a privilege to live my dream.  God is good!